


Vertigo

by al-the-remix (only_blue)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: "Emotion" by the Bee Gees, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, But the angst comes first, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mpreg, rated T for big kid words, those big feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_blue/pseuds/al-the-remix
Summary: This is the result of a discussion between me and sevenfists where it was decided that if Sid was a pregnant werewolf he would likely be the greatest terror known to man: Peeing on Geno's predator statue, leaving dead things as "presents" on the kitchen tiles, jumping into bed covered in questionable substances, and just generally feral.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also thanks to sevenfists for pulling this out of me with pliers and correcting my less than palitable grammar.

Zhenya spent a lot of his life waiting. He waited for the NHL, to be able to cut his skates on Penguin ice. He waited to be acknowledged as an irreplaceable member of the team. He waited for Sidney. Waited to love him freely, to be able to hold him how he wanted and to do so without shame or apprehension. He waited for Sid to be in a place where he wanted to give up command of his body for their babies.

Sometimes, it still felt like Zhenya was waiting. Especially now. 

The ceiling fan spun in lazy circles above the bed. His heart clenched as he was hit with sudden vertigo. Zhenya had thought they were moving forward, but maybe this whole time they had just been spinning in place.

Humidity clung to his skin. He couldn’t get comfortable, shifting around the bed and trying to find a cool patch of sheets. Sid had piled the bed with a nest of blankets; he needed to keep his body temperature high now that he was pregnant. These days the tangle of blankets had become one of the last remaining signs of Sidney in the house. The one place he came back to and Zhenya didn't dare disturb it. The bed was neutral territory, a fragile line and the only spot in the house where the arguing ceased. Maybe purely out of exhaustion--Zhenya hoped it was more than that--but didn't let his mind linger on it too long. There were already so many other things to worry about.

He flung one leg out the side of the blankets and shoved them down his chest instead. That would have to do. Watching the minutes on the clock slip by with a tightness in his chest, he waited. The sound of rain hammering against the roof filled the room; it was a swollen, throbbing sort of quiet. Still, it wasn't loud enough to drown the doubt swimming between his ears.  

Zhenya curled an arm around his pillow and watched the cracked-open doorway, his ears straining. He always left it open, an olive branch he hoped Sid would latch onto. His chest felt hollowed out in anticipation. Then it came. The dull thump of the back door flap echoing through the house and the soft patter of feet up the stairs, light scuffing noises traveling down the hall. With his view from the bed, the door creaked open as if on its own. The only evidence of Sid's presence came in the click of nails on the hardwood floor and the tips of his ears making their way to his side of the bed. Zhenya shifted around to watch the empty space beside him. There was a series of soft snuffling noise and then the tell-tale huff and groan as Sid changed. He rose from the ground and stretched into a pale column, popping his back. The line of his body distorted by the pronounced curve of his belly. Every time he saw Sid shifted he’d grown that little bit bigger. Zhenya ached to touch him.

Zhenya did his cursory sweep. Taking visual stock to make sure everything was as it should be, that he was okay, before allowing himself the second, lingering look. Sid looked good. Sid always looked good, but Zhenya experienced a fierce well of pride undercut with longing looking at Sid the way he was now, watching as he slowly stretched out his muscles--a bit awkward with his new center of gravity. It was a rare sight these days, and Zhenya felt like he needed to drink his fill--the dimples of Sid’s lower back, the plush swell of his chest, and sweet curve of his face. Soft cock shadowed under the weight of his stomach. A sharp spike of heat rose in Zhenya’s face and abdomen at the sight, and he let himself look--unsure when his next chance would be.

Sidney crawled onto the mattress and sunk into bed beside Zhenya, taking a moment to burrow himself in the layers of blankets. Zhenya hadn't thought, when they first found out Sid was pregnant, that he would spend this much time missing him. Sometimes, Sid would disappear for days at a time and Zhenya worried that one day it would become too much and Sid would stop showing up altogether--a notion that had once floated aimlessly in the back of his mind was now more present than ever.

He swallowed around a lump in his throat. Sid had always fit his skin--confident and balanced--strong and unwavering. Zhenya never even thought to question if he missed his time as a wolf because Sid had never given him a reason to. Now, there was a loose wildness that lingered behind his eyes when he changed. _"Feral,”_ Sid had called it. The word had curled against his lip when he said it. Geno remembered _feral_ from Magnitogorsk and the stray dogs his mother warned him away from.

The curtains were left open so he could see Sid when he came in, the glowing paleness of him, his skin not getting enough sun now that it was consistently hidden beneath his dense coat. Looking at him hurt like pressing on a bruise, a seeping, deep tissue pain. Carefully, Zhenya reached a hand out to brush stray dirt from the soft curve of Sid's shoulder, filled out yet undeniable in the strength that lay beneath, muscles corded like iron. Zhenya wasn't afraid of him; he could never be. But he was unsettled. Their whole life had been on unstable ground the past few months. Sid had warned him it would be trying. He thought he knew what that meant. Now, he realized he hadn't known anything at all.

Sid's eyes glowed bright in the dark, reflecting moonlight from the window. “Hi,” Sid whispered, inching a little closer and wriggling his way into Zhenya’s space. Zhenya wrapped his arm around Sid’s waist, pulling him in. He felt the soft brush of air let out through Sid’s nose as he sighed and settled. He wanted so badly to keep Sidney this close always. He would be happy to stay in this room for another four months if it meant they got to preserve the magic bubble surrounding them.  

Tucking his face into the seam of Sid's neck and shoulder, Zhenya sighed. It was safe and dark. He finally felt at home. The tip of Sid's nose nudged at his cheek, cold and wet. He stopped himself from laughing. Instead, he sucked in a deep breath. Sid smelled like earth and the dampness of wet foliage, as if the forest had embedded itself in his skin. Stroking his hand up and down the knobs of Sid’s spine, faint now under the extra layer of fat, Zhenya relaxed into the rhythm of his fingers on Sid’s skin. 

He relished moments like these. All they did anymore was bicker, broken up by long periods of silence. Sometimes, Zhenya would lean against the kitchen counter, twisting both their rings around his finger, and watch Sid wrap himself up in a blanket on the couch and stare out the window. He could do it for hours as Zhenya wondered if Sid would rather be out there--if he was happy--if he was more comfortable in the forest than he ever was in their home. In moments like those, Zhenya worried his husband might melt into the woods with their babies inside of him and never come back. His stomach always turned at the thought, a swift falling sensation. What was once the most concrete relationship in his life was now crumbling beneath him and he didn’t even know where to start fitting the pieces back together.

Sid shifted his weight, pushing incrementally closer until Zhenya could feel the press of his stomach and the wet of his lips on his skin when he spoke. "I’m sorry." His voice was small, and it was unusual enough for Sid that it caught Zhenya’s attention immediately.

His brow creased “Why sorry?” His hand stilled its movement along Sid's spine. Zhenya knew he couldn’t help it. He knew this and that was what scared him, that it was in Sid's nature. Zhenya worked a hand back through Sid’s hair, fingers catching in the tangles. It had grown wild like the rest of him, strands of hair stuck together like twigs.

Sid curled in on himself. “I--” The bob of his Adam's apple pressed into Zhenya’s chest when he swallowed. “I know this hasn't been easy on you, and I’m just making it more difficult. Going back and forth all the time-- I don’t want to. But--”

Zhenya stopped breathing, heart in his throat. “But _what_ Sid?”

“I can’t help it--the way you look at me sometimes--”

Zhenya’s heart plummeted.

“And with the dead squirrels--”

That shocked out a surprised huff of breath--barely a laugh at all--but Sid stiffened in his arms immediately.

“G, I’m _serious._ “ Sid pushed to roll away from Zhenya and onto his back. He scrubbed a hand over his face and left it there, speaking through the splay of his fingers. He let out a wavering sigh. “Nothing’s the way it should be, and I just want to be here, with you.”

A deep sorrow clenched in Zhenya’s gut. _"Sid--"_  

"But I just get so itchy and everything is overwhelming--the light and the smells and the air conditioning--and I can’t--you look so _sad_ -" The tell-tale crack and hitch of breath told Zhenya that Sid was working to keep his voice level. He ended on a quiet note. "This is supposed to be happy."

He sounded frustrated, and Zhenya gently pried his hand away from his face. Sid let him, but his face was tense, a deep pinch of skin between his brows, and his eyes glassy. Zhenya could feel his own eyes tearing up in response. He didn’t know how it was possible for both of them to be so wrong for _months_.

“Oh, Sid.”

"Shuttup--stop that." Sid’s nose wrinkled He was still on the defensive and growing tight as a spring. It was selfish, but Zhenya felt washed over with relief knowing that all along Sid had been just as affected as he was.   

"Is not--" Zhenya started, ducking his head, and Sid waited for him to collect his thoughts. "Want you here _always_ \--” And he couldn’t believe Sid would ever doubt that. “Just think maybe you not want to be." He chewed on his lip. "Maybe not want to stay with me."

He watched Sid’s face crumple. His voice was hurt as he said, " _G--_ "

Zhenya leaned over him and pressed kisses against Sid’s face, hoping to smooth it out. Sid’s hands gripped his shoulders, fingers digging into the muscle there, anchoring him in place as Zhenya stretched to find Sid’s mouth. They kissed, slow and deep, the warm buzzing sensation spreading through Zhenya’s chest like syrup. It was overwhelming, and he sighed against Sid’s mouth at the brush of his tongue, happy to tilt his head and let Sid dictate the pace, opening up under the attention. Their mouths slipped together, familiar and intimate. Sid made a noise deep in his chest, and Zhenya ran his fingers lazily over Sid's side, gentling. ( _He would call it petting, but they had already had the dog talk more than once.)_

Sid's grip eased where his nails had bitten into Zhenya's skin and pushed--rolling them so Sid was half splayed on top of Zhenya, tucking back in against his side and wrapping around him, leg slung over both of his. It was hot, but Sid was a comfortable, warm weight bearing him down, and it was better than any blanket. Zhenya buried his nose in the curls at the crown of Sid's head.

Outside, the soft thrum of rain was slowing. Sid pressed his lips to the bare skin of Zhenya’s chest, making Zhenya shiver and sending goosebumps across his skin.

“I love you so, so much.” The words were muffled but Zhenya could feel them right through his ribcage. He smiled into Sid’s hair, full to the brim and welling over, coiling around him so there were no gaps, skin warm and sticking together.

"Love you too Sid.” He could hear the tremble in his own voice and held Sid tight as they burrowed closer. “Love you and babies most."

Sid made a soft noise against his skin, arms like steel where they gripped him. “I can't wait till they're born, you’re gonna be such a good dad.”

Zhenya blinked hard. A loose tear slipped down the side of his cheek but he refused to let go for even a second to wipe it away.

He took a moment to enjoy the quiet sounds of their breathing and the feeling of Sid in his arms.

“We figure it out,” he said, at last, rubbing Sid's shoulder. “Maybe I get tent, make fire, we eat outside. No air conditioning, no weird smells.” He paused. “But, ah--maybe no squirrels in bed either.”

Sid chuckled into the crook of his neck. Zhenya could feel the press of his smile when he spoke. “That’d be really nice.” 

Zhenya knew they were going to be just fine.


	2. Chapter 2




End file.
